Monday's Musings on Tuesday. "5 Years"

I was feeling quite under the weather yesterday.  Still not feeling awesome today, I just don't want to get into the habbit of NOT blogging, because then, well, I WON'T and it's been a new goal of mine to blog a little every day (mainly for sanity purposes)  So I bring you, my musing. 5 years.

5 Years Ago

Five years. 

Five years doesn't really seem like a lot does it?  It never really did to me, I guess it still doesn't and THAT'S the scary part. ha ha

Five years ago I was still a twenty-something barely 26.

Five years ago I had my first baby.

Five years ago my whole world shifted.  I never knew I was capable of loving another human so completely, so wholly.  (I was also consumed with overwhelming love for my mother, I never really knew how much she loved me until I had Ocean.  I Love you SO much Mom!!!)

Five years ago I was the "biggest" I've ever been in my life thanks to my little bambino, and I'd love to be that "big" again.  (And I will, that's just a whole other musing ha ha!)

Five years ago I found my faith.  It was a loooooong rough journey back, but I'm forever grateful for that journey.

Five years ago I still had my Granddad, my Grandma, and my sister in-law here on earth to Hug and love...

Five years ago  I was a wife for the second time (the time I was meant for <3) , and the mom of a Middle Schooler, Kindergartner, and infant. 

Fast forward 5 years

Today I'm a Thirty-something barely 31 (That, won't sound so bad 5 years from now! ha ha ha)

Today I'm done having babies.  What a short little bit of my life that was, and I mourn the end of it.  WHY is this?!  I should be happy that I won't balloon to un-natural proportions ever again, but still, this realization hurts and tugs those heart strings...

Today my world is still shifted, apparently you can love each child with that same intensity. AWESOME!! I really didn't think I could love anyone as much as Ocean.  Thankfully, I can! :) 

Today, I'm officially the biggest I've ever been. THIS bites, but you know, it's a sacrafice I made for my babes.  Maybe I'll be a size 3 again, maybe I won't.  I will however focus on being healthy more than being skinny, no matter how badly-BADLY I want it. (sigh)

Today I have a calling (position) at church that allows me to be with the Young Women, and I LOVE it!  I'm so amazed at their strength and faith!

Today I no longer have my Granddad, my Grandma, or my sweet sister in-law to hug and love on, but I have their love surrounding me, and their legacy they left behind... Though I miss them so much my heart aches....

Today I still am a wife for the second time (the only time that counts <3) and the mom of a SENIOR, a fifth grader, a kindergartner, a pre-schooler, and a monster 16 month old :) We also have a new additon "Cassie" added to our family tree. (Cassie is Will's daughter that was placed in adoption 18 years ago in order for her to have a better life)  They recently have met for the first time and we're blessed to have her be part of our family!

5 Years from now

In Five years I'll still be a thirty-something barely 36 ;)

In Five years I'll still be done having babes, hopefully I'll have moved passed the grieving of this stage.

In Five years I WON'T be the biggest I've ever been, But I probably won't be my smallest either, and that's definately okay with me.

In Five years I'll still have my faith.  Of this, I am certain.

In Five years I'll probably have lost more people that I love, and my heart will still ache, but hopefully I'll have the strength I need to get through those losses...

In Five years I'll still be a wife for the second time (to my forever love <3) and the mom of a Twenty-something, an almost 16 year old, a 10 year old, an 8 year old,  and once again a kindergartner for the last time....

In Five years I could very well be,   Wait for it,

A GRANDMA!!!!!! YIKES! 

Where will you be in 5 years?  Something fun to ponder.

Happy Monday, er, TUESDAY everyone!